Happy Birthday Dear Elliott!

On this day in 2011, we said YES to this sweet face -

and we began the long journey that lead us to our son, on the other side of the globe.

On Elliott's second birthday, completely unknown to him, he got a family.  It would take us nearly eight excruciatingly long months to complete the necessary paperwork steps and finally get permission to go and get him.  That's a very long time to wait, knowing that every day that ticked by was another day we were missing out on spending with him.  But the day finally came, and now we're united as a family.  Forever!

And tomorrow, as we celebrate Elliott's third birthday, we also reflect on the long journey he has already had in his three short years.  

I've lamented before in blog posts about how sad I feel that Elliott will never know the identity of his birthparents.  I just  can't imagine the heartache of spending nine months growing a baby inside my womb, only to have to part with him just a week after he is born.  Feeling every kick, every hiccup, going through labor, and then having to say "goodbye".  I will never know the true circumstances of this separation, but I truely believe that she was forced for one reason or another to make that critical decision and she did the best for Elliott that she knew how given the circumstances surrounding adoption in China.  And it worked.  He found us.  And we will love and honor our sweet little boy for the rest of our lives.  He is our son and there is nothing I wouldn't do for my precious little man.  I pray time and time again words of gratitude.  Thank you, God, for completing our family!  I know that HE was meant to be ours!

But as we joyously celebrate his third year of life tomorrow, I am also wondering if there is a woman in China who is thinking about him as well.  Did she already know on his birth day that she would not be able to keep him?  Is she quietly remembering him today, and reflecting on their short time together?  Is she at peace with her decision?  I wish there was some way to reach out to her and assure her that yes, he is healthy and happy and so incredibly loved.  To give her that peace, and to thank her for giving Elliott life. 

So today we celebrate the day we were officially 'linked' together, and tomorrow we celebrate his birthday. 

Life is good!  More pictures to come!

新年快乐 (Happy New Year!)

Xīn nián kuàilè

It's the year of the dragon!

We celebrated by joining the Chinese Association of West Michigan (CAWM) this past weekend for a New Year's celebration.  There was food (oh, so much food!), dancing, singing, and a magician for entertainment (not Chinese, but entertaining nonetheless!).  I wasn't sure how Elliott was going to react, as this was the first time he has been immersed in Chinese culture since leaving China in October.  He did stare at first at everyone of Chinese descent, and I couldn't tell if he was just trying to look for familiar faces or if it was just a people-watching curiosity.  But once we filled our plates and sat down, that thirty pound child proceeded to eat his weight in rice, noodles, dumplings, vegetables, and dim sum.  He was so happy!  I was so thrilled to be eating REAL Chinese food again.  I could close my eyes and feel like I was in China again.  I loved every bit of it.

The kids and I all enjoyed the performances.

The crowd was pretty large, about 300 people I estimate, but we were able to find Yi Ling, who is my friend and also my Chinese tutor.  We love her!

Fun was had by all.

A dear friend of mine, Yen, first introduced me to Chinese New Year in first grade.  It is tradition on Chinese New Year to hand red envelopes filled with money to children for good luck.  Red is the color of fortune.  These small envelopes are called hong bao.  I remember getting red envelopes and eating LOTS of delicious Chinese food at her home each Chinese New Year.  It was a festivity I looked forward to all year and I was so honored to be included.  I would sit and eat for at least an hour, savoring every tasty morsel and enjoying the celebration.  So it was so fitting and so special for us that Yen sent the kids their first hong bao this year.  And true to her artistic roots, they were absolutely unique and really special. 

Xie Xie Yen!

So.... how have we been doing since the last blog post?  That answer is quite complicated. 

Elliott has been under the care of a urologist, a neurologist, and a physician specialist in spina bifida care in the past month.  He has had three outpatient visits to the hospital for special testing (translate: expensive).  After weeks of gathering information, we have a care plan for Elliott.  We started with virtually no information about his care in China, and just minimal information about his actual medical need.  So to pull this all together in just a couple of months has been no small feat.  I have spent most of my days off shuffling him from one medical appointment to another, and this has caused some stress for Charlotte, who feels a bit like an accessory.  I have had some great help from friends to schedule special playtime for Charlotte with her best little friends while Elliott and I run around, and this has been so appreciated. 

What we are looking at for Elliott is a bright future with minimal limitations (if any!).  But it is not going to be easy to assure this for him without a lot of effort on our part for the next few years.  We are having to do a procedure with him on an every-three-hours basis that is both unpleasant and uncomfortable for him.  It pains me to hear him cry and whimper, but as a nurse I know how severe the complications are if we don't adhere to this maintenance plan.  After about a week and a half of this new routine, things are getting easier but are not without struggle.  The medications, the medical supplies, the bills, the tests, and all of the appointments are on top of everything else in life that makes parenting an almost-three-year-old, an almost-five year old, and a six-year-old a busy time.  I feel like I am falling behind on a lot of things, but it has also provided me with a new perspective of what really matters (hint: it's not having a spotless kitchen floor!). 

Please keep us in your prayers as we try to find our new 'normal'.


So what else have we been up to this month?  Here are some photographic highlights!

Happy New Year, everybody!

2011 - What a wonderful year!

Christmas was wonderful!  Santa was very very good to all of us this year, but the best part is always the simple fact that we are all gathered together, sharing a special memory.

We were blessed this year by the presence of my parents on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. 

Madeline bought gifts this year for her parents and siblings using her own hard-earned money.  Christmas morning she was so excited for us to open her gifts for us that she insisted we do that first, before she even touched any of her own gifts.  She put so much thought into what she bought.  It was probably my proudest moment of the day.  She 'gets' it.  And it makes my heart sing.

Elliott opened this as his first gift and loved it so much he declined to open any additional gifts for the next hour.  That kind of contentment is so rare on Christmas morning.  What a great reminder he gave us of the REAL meaning of this holiday season!

Charlotte got some sassy pink hair!

Madeline got a sewing machine of her very own.  It was a BIG hit!

TWO cars?!?!?!

New pink clothes for the Pinkaliscious Princess!

Playing trucks with Grandpa H.

So silly!

Story time with Grandpa

We didn't forget the doggies.  They got minty denta-bones.  They were devoured in less than five minutes.

And then it was nap time. 

Two days later we celebrated Christmas again with Matt's side of the family, which included a rousing game of Blokus!

What a wonderful Christmas holiday! 

Now the tree is down and the thousands of falling pine needles are all cleaned up.  I love having a live tree, but every year when we drag the dead tree carcass to the back of the yard and set it aflame in the fire ring, it scares the dickens out of me.  That thing is FLAMMABLE!  It was shooting up five foot flames in less than three minutes.  My house wouldn't stand a chance.

We took the younger two to the Grand Rapids Children's Museum while Maddie spent a couple of days with grandparents.  It was fun to see how Elliott explored the playrooms.  He is so curious about everything!  He is such a quick learner.  Charlotte has been to that museum several other times, but still finds it quite enjoyable.

And here I am, on New Year's Eve, reflecting on this wonderful year.  2011 has really been one of my best years: I got to travel to Kenya and to China.  In one trip I got to help change the lives of some wonderful, deserving people, and in the other I met my forever son and got to bring him HOME.  I got to soak up the culture of two incredible places and meet some wonderful people I will never ever forget.  We completed our family of five, and it just feels RIGHT.  We celebrated our tenth year together as a married couple and I am so thankful every day that I have Matthew by my side.  He is my best friend and so much more.  We are healthy and happy, learning and growing, enjoying time spent with one another.  We are aging, but doing it gracefully with no major health concerns.  We have gone on some really fun adventures with our family, near and far, and have so much to look forward to in 2012.  Our children are our life's work and they are really the driving force behind all that we do, and they are the source of much of our contentment.  And on this evening, I reflect on what truely wonderful kids they are.  There isn't anything in life that I need that I don't already have.  That is truely the most wonderful feeling of all.   Thank you, God!

2012 is going to be another awesome adventure!

It's almost Christmas!!!

What a fun week!  Matt is not teaching this week, and Maddie is not in school, either.  Having everyone home (minus my three required work days) has been such a blessing. We have been really enjoying our 'together' time.

Two nights ago we went to a Grand Rapids Griffins hockey game.  We had two extra tickets, so we invited Charlotte's friend, Alysse, and her daddy, Casey. 

Of course, Charlotte just doesn't go out (not even to a hockey game) without her Sunday best: fancy necklace, pin-on flowers and a fancy headband....

This was Elliott's first major sporting event.  I wasn't sure how he was going to enjoy the large crowds and the hockey game itself.  He did GREAT!  Matt was teaching him how to shout at the players (as if they could hear us from the upper deck....).  I can honestly say he thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

And Madeline was actually following the puck back and forth, and anticipating goals, plays, etc.... 

Their favorite part, however, was the dance music in between plays.  It's no surprise that they were totally worn out at the end of the game and asking to go to bed.....  :o)

We received the results of Elliott's CT scan yesterday: totally normal.  I knew it was a long shot that it was going to be a comlication of his spina bifida, but I just had to know for sure.  Being a nurse is hard for a Mommy - I know just enough to make myself worry but not enough to talk myself out of it.  Especially when it's my kid. I guess that's what makes me a good nurse. So the headaches are likely due to his major dental abscesses and his oral surgery and should be improving.  The plan is to wait two weeks and then reassess.  If he is still having terrible headaches, then we move on to an MRI.  It's still not 'normal' for a two-year-old to have headaches. 

And.... now I am offically in my mid-30's.  I am a mortgage-holding, van-driving, family-loving mother of three and I couldn't be happier.  We celebrated my birthday by hiring a babysitter and having a night out without the kids.  It was the first night Matt and I have had together without kids since Beijing in October.  And it was wonderful.  We went out to dinner and ended up a a pottery studio ( I love to get into my creative zone and exercise my artistic side once in a while! ).  Thank you for all of the sweet birthday wishes!

Today we are anticipating the arrival of my parents (wai-po and wai-gong in Mandarin) and a fun Christmas celebration. 

 Santa's coming!

Merry Christmas!

Speedbump

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

The Frederick Meijer Gardens Holiday party is always a good time!

Leo's favorite new napping spot.

The gifts are bought and wrapped, and the house is decorated.  I hosted my annual cookie exchange party last week and I now have almost a hundred holiday cookies calling my name every time I walk in the kitchen.  And because Matt has successfully pledged not to eat sweets in 2011 (and has stuck to it!) I need to find more willpower.  I've been binging on cookies.  That, when paired with the fact that I have not had time in the past two weeks to get to the gym for a workout (finding time to just eat and shower is challenging) is not good.  You have no idea how much I like cookies.

Matt and Madeline are now officially on Christmas break and it has been absolutely wonderful having both of them home.  And tomorrow I finally get my Jeep back from the engine rebuilding shop (non-technical term, I know.  I'm a girl.) so we can finally put the car up in the barn for the winter and get ready for feet and feet of snow to fall.  I am so happy that we have been able to keep driving it this past three weeks while the Jeep was being repaired; it's not safe to drive in snow.  Here in Michigan it's almost unheard of not to have a base of snow by this point in the season.  Having a heavy front-wheel drive vehicle or a 4X4 is necessary, especially for those of us who live out in the rural areas.  Matt's method of 'plowing' the driveway is to grab a hot cup of coffee, get in the truck or the Jeep with 4X4 engaged, and drive up and down the driveway until it's all compacted down.  By mid-January we usually have about six inches of ice on the drive.  It doesn't melt until mid-April.  But the alternative would be to pick up a shovel and do it myself.  Ummm...... no.

Elliott has continued to do very well post operatively.  He's even asking to brush his teeth several times a day, though he is still very cautious as there are several tender areas to avoid.  He is still such a good little eater.  But over the last week and a half his complaint of occasional headaches has escalated into several crying episodes a day. We drove to the Detroit area (almost 3 hours each way) on Saturday to visit with my extended family for the holidays, and he was in tears at least an hour each way.  Each time we experience this he points to his head and says "tung" which means "pain".  He can go from happy and engaged in playing to wailing in the matter of ten seconds.  And there seems to be no correlation to eating.  The occasional discomfort he feels while eating he is easily able to express by pointing to his mouth and saying "ouch".  This is different pain.  He started getting headaches about a month ago and they are getting more frequent and severe, so today while I was at work I had Matt take him in to see our pediatrician, who ordered a CT scan of his head tomorrow at noon at the hospital.  While this is a very simple, fast, and non-invasive test, it requires Elliott to lay absolutely motionless for the period of about ten seconds.  While we are not planning on having to do sedation for this, we have to keep him NPO (nothing to eat or drink) after 8:00am just incase we have to resort to that.  Elliott is a snacker/grazer, so that is going to be difficult to do.  So instead of spending my birthday the way I had planned, I am going to be downtown again, visiting my place of employment on my day off, hoping that nothing serious is wrong with my sweet little boy.  Never a dull moment for the Beresfords!

Please keep Elliott in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow.