A picture to tell a story...

Lately I've been pretty long-winded.  Today I will let the photos do the talking!

(This just had "BAD IDEA" written all over it!)

Mama's Chinese cowboy!

We've been playing games, exploring the barn and playing with the animals (though Mommy hasn't had a chance to ride yet), raking leaves, watching family movies, carving pumpkins, creating Halloween costumes, doing puzzles, and spending lots of time just following the lead of the kids and what they want to do.  It has been very very good not to be rushed into our 'normal' lives just yet. 

I am happy to report that we are all getting more sleep.  In a desperate attempt to try ANYTHING, we rearranged the furniture in our room so that Elliott has a toddler bed cozied up to our bed, so that he has his own sleeping space but could still see us and climb into our bed if he needed to.  That was the magic bean.  He slept for nine straight hours that night.  I woke up at 5:30am in a panic that morning and made Matt roll over and peek at him to make sure he was OKay.  It was heavenly!  And it works great to get him down for naps, too, as long as he or I are sitting in bed next to him.  I can't tell you how much better I feel now that I'm getting a full night of sleep!

We went to the store two days ago to run a couple of errands, and had to take Elliott with us because we also had to run to the laboratory for a blood draw for some routine post-adoption labs.  While I was at the Secretary of State renewing our license plates for the vehicles, I was standing next to a woman speaking Mandarin on her cell phone.  Just hearing the language again (without my horrid American accent!) made me miss China.  I am so happy to be home.  I love my country, and I love my home, but part of me wants to go back.  I don't know if it's that red thread that will always connect me to my child's birth country, or if it is just a curiosity thing, but I'm a little sad thinking that it will be years before we go back.  There were a few things I won't miss, but a ton of things that I will. 

Bonding and attachment continue to progress.  It's so good that both of us are off so that we can co-parent equally.  I am so thankful for that, not only from a workload standpoint, but because we don't want our family to grow unilateraly.  I work three 12-hour shifts per week instead of a five-day work week, which means I am home more days than Matt to spend time with the kids.  We want Elliott to know both of us and love both of us.  We are definitely giving our family a great start by spending this time together.  We still have a long way to grow, but we are on the right track.

I got an email this week inviting me back to Kenya for another two week mission trip this winter (see posts in this blog: January & February 2011).  It's so tempting.  There's also another IMA trip going to Valladolid, Mexico next summer.  My passion in nursing is to participate in these mission trips.  Using my skills and my own hands to help those who would otherwise go without healthcare is one of the most empowering things I have done in my adult life.  I love it.  I embrace the cultural enrichment of going on these trips.  But I have to wait until the time is right.  Too much going on this year.

Tomorrow is Halloween.....  Have a happy Trick-or-Treat!

Has it been a week already?

Not quite.  We're 48 hours shy, but it has been one heck of a week already!

Seeing all three of my babies at the breasfast counter that next morning almost brought me to tears.

The first two days were definitely a honeymoon period, when we were all so happy and relieved to see each other and be home that we had huge amounts of patience.  Lucky for us, we came home to some beautiful fall weather and were able to work and play outside.

Cleaning up the leaves in the yard.

Ready....  Set....  ACTION!

 

This was a very big step for Elliott.  He was deathly afraid of the dogs and the cat on the first day.  Even the sound of paws and claws on tile in the kitchen would send him into tears.  Charlotte, being the super-duper big sister and problem solver, put our cat in his shopping cart in hopes that they'd figure it out and get along.  As you can see here, it won Elliott over.  He is now a cat lover.

And we finally conquered bath time, too.  After all of the screaming and protesting over every single bath or shower in China, he jumped right in with his sisters in the tub on the very first night.  In fact, he cried when we had to pull him out after half an hour.  He was the last one to get out.  Go figure!

Elliott is 100% all BOY. 

If I set my girls down with a coloring book and a box of crayons, I can come back in two minutes and they will still be coloring.  In the lines.  Quietly.

If I set my son down at the table with the same coloring book and crayons, and came back in two minutes, he will have eaten the coloring book, colored the entire wall with the crayons, and would probably be standing on the table.  :o)

There is definitely going to be a learning curve to raising a boy. 

He loved the kitty-in-the-shopping-cart trick so much, he's been thinking up more creative ways to transport the cat around the house.

Elliott loves playing up in the treehouse.  There's a little kitchenette in it and it's fun to see him do a little role playing as a cook.  It's interesting to see how much he knows about it.  He obviously watched his foster mother prepare his meals. 

We took him to see a dentist and to see his pediatrician this week. So far his spina bifida has not been the major concern for us at all.  It's his teeth.  He is going to have to have 5 to 7 teeth surgically extracted at the hospital as soon as we can get him cleared medically to go under general anesthesia.  The timing of it is not ideal; we are still working on trust and attachment, but this cannot wait.  Two of his teeth have identifiable pulp and nerve tissue showing, and three of the rotted teeth are soft and black.  I have to assume that it's painful and miserable for him.  We have started him on antibiotics for the tooth infection and dental abscess as a result of his poor teeth, but it's just a temporary fix.  The teeth have to go.

What we know about Elliott so far:

He does not like to be dirty and can wash up pretty independantly.

He likes to wash his hands and brush his teeth and would do so 50 times a day if he could reach the sink.

He will pick up every single kernel of corn or Cheerio that fall in his bib pocket.

He loves to push buttons.  Of any kind.  Especially if they make a noise.

He wants to plug and unplug electronics.

He is a fire bug.  He loves to watch Baba and I start fires in the fireplace with a pretty intense stare.

He loves his orange shoes but doesn't care what pants or shirt he has on.

He isn't afraid of textures.  He will squish playdough for quite a long time.

He has a fear of animals that is going to take a while to overcome.  Even fish.

He absolutely LOVES busses and trucks.

His giggle and his cry sound a lot alike.  Sometimes I have to look at his face to determine which it is.

His favorite foods are corn, Cheerios, peanuts, and bananas.

He's an adrenaline junky, and loves to be tossed around.

He absolutely fits in our family!

Our major challenge, other than his medical issues, has been sleep.  He is still having night terrors where he wakes up screaming several times a night.  It makes sense, as nighttime is when our brains 'download' and 'file' all of the information and emotion from the day.  And his list is pretty long.  But it doesn't make it easy on him, or for Matt and I.  It's been three weeks since I've gotten more than 3 hours at a time, or more than 6 hours in a night.   He's really restless, even in between nightmares.  And his reaction to waking is always a desire to guzzle down water to soothe himself, which means we're also changing lots of diapers at night.  After weeks of this Matt and I are starting to wear pretty thin, and during the afternoons I feel like I'm walking around in a cloud.  I hope this gets better soon.  I am so thankful for our sweet friends who have dropped meals by.  I never expected to be this busy or this tired after coming home. 

We made the decision to do 'cocooning' or 'nesting' even before we went to China.  We have read several books and spoken to several professionals about securing emotional attachment with a child who has been through adoption, and all of them recommended a period after placement to stay at home and rebuild those important bonds or trust and affection before involving extended family and friends.  It makes sense to me.  These kids who have spent time in an institution (orphanage) learn to be charming and get what they want by seeking it from several different people.  Caregivers change when employees change and as the children get older.  They don't often develop that "you and me" relationship with anyone and it's hard to backup and redo that kind of mental processing.  It takes time and consistency, and its absolutely vital not only to his relationship within our family but enables him to have successful relationships throughout his life.  When we first got him, he would not make eye contact with us.  Once he got comfortable with us, he would not make eye contact with anyone else.  After about a week, he would smile at others if they smiled at him.  By the time we were coming home, he was waving and blowing kisses at complete strangers.  That was a big red flag, and it reinforced our decision to sort of lock ourselves here on the farm until Thanksgiving.  It has been hard.  I want so badly not only to let him meet all of his family and friends who have loved and prayed for him with us for so long, but more than that I want him to have that relationship be a healthy one.  So for all of you waiting patiently for us, thank you.

Off to bed.  Little panda bear has been watching me type and just fell asleep on my chest.  :o)

There's no place like home!

We're home and we're so glad to be here! 

Our trip home was extremely long, but was also relatively uneventful. 

We woke up arond 7:00am and had time to go swim a little in the gorgeous indoor pool and sit in the hot tub before heading out to the airport.  Yes, I am the jerk that accidentally hit the "help" button in the steam room, thinking it was the "start" button because it was not working when I got in.  So sorry!  I waited for a minute to see if anyone came running, but then quietly tiptoed up to our room.  Oops! 

Sunrise view from our hotel room.

The shuttle to the airport only took five minutes.  In Hong Kong, they drive on the opposite side of the road.  I just can't get used to that!  It was a beautiful day - 76 degrees F and sunny by 9:30am!

The only thing between our hotel and the airport was a very pretty golf course.  That's the airport in the distance (white building).

At the airport, we were greeted by metal detectors and military personnell with fingers resting on semi-automatic machine guns.  For some reason, that made me feel more scared than safe.  Check-in took 45 minutes; there was a long line. Every 10 minutes or so we'd see them stroll by, walking laps around the airport.  Matt wanted to take a picture.  I wanted him to come home with me and not go to jail.  Or get shot.  So I hid the camera.

We grabbed a bite to eat, then hopped on our 747 jetliner at 11:45am.  It's hard to believe something THAT big can not only get enough speed to lift off the ground, but to fly at 700 miles per hour for 14 continuous hours. 

That's our double-decker airplane behind Elliott.  Top floor is the first class passengers and the flight deck.  The business class and economy seats are on the bottom floor.  We were way in the back, in row 60.  I don't think it's a coincidence that all three adoptive families were put next to each other way back there.  :o)

We watched movies (no personal TV's this time, just a big screen TV in the front of each passenger cabin (four on the first floor) showing movies alternating with television programs and United Airways commercials.  We watched Cars 2, King Fu Panda 2, Something about Paris, and some shoot-em-up warrior movie that was totally inappropriate for young children to see.  Elliott wasn't at all interested in the movies, which meant we had to work harder at keeping him entertained for so long.  He did really well with staying buckled up while seated, and only had one 10-minute crying session during the whole 14-and-a-half hour flight.  Our plane arched north over Russia, followed over the Bering Strait, down through Alaska, Canada, and Wisconsin.  Very little turbulence once we reached 36,000 feet, and a cruising speed average of 680 miles per hour. 

These were our airplane arm rests.  Are you serious!?!?  Little man had buttons on each side to push, and we had to apologize for him hitting the attendant call light at least five times.  He's so sneaky!  Lucky for us we had a very good natured flight crew.

He fell asleep as we were taxi'ing out to the runway for take-off.  How he could stay asleep while that big beast of a plane took off, I can't explain.  He got about 45 minutes here, then didn't sleep again for the next eight hours.

View over Hong Kong from about 18,000 feet.  Lush and tropical.

One of Hong Kong's many shipping ports.

Barges all heading to or from ports in Hong Kong.  The waters around H.K. are pretty crowded, comparatively.

We circled back over the business district of H.K. before heading north over mainland China again.

These photos are foggy, I apologise.  I was taking them through the airplane window, with a sun glare.

There's a huge mountain in the middle of this peninsula, with resorts built around it.

These were mountains poking through the clouds in east-central China.  Quite a spectacular sight!

Our view for the next 13 hours.  It didn't stay light for the whole flight this time, though, because we flew backwards through the day.  It got dark out about four hours into the flight, and stayed dark for about six hours.  It made it easier to attempt sleep, although there is no good position, and neck or back pain eventually woke us up after a short rest.  Elliott was the only lucky one, with enough room to sprawl out over Mom and Dad.  At one point, he fell asleep on my chest in the 'panda bear' position.  It was a sweet little cudddle.

The guy behind us had the worst gas ever.  He kept getting up and crop dusting the aisles around us.  It was bad enough to cause Matt and I to gag.  That's not even right.  That man needs to go see a doctor.

Our flight attendant assigned to our aisle loved us, and kept checking on us and Elliott.  Matt was in the aisle seat at first, for a little extra leg room, and she kept patting his head and his shoulder as she was talking to us.  I had to smile because his cheeks would flush every time.  :o)

After 14 long and hard hours, we finally saw Chicago as we descdended the airplane.

Tired Mommy, and a happy baby!

In Chicago, we disembarked and went to customs, waited 30 minutes in line, then went to claim all of our checked bags.  Once we got all of those, we went over the the "New Immigrant" desk at a whole separate location and turned in the brown envelope sealed in plastic wrap that we were given at the U.S. Consulate on the last day in Guangzhou and told NOT to open. 

The guy at that counter, from the Dept. of Immigration, was about as pissed off and grouchy as he could be for having to do his job and help us out.  I wanted to take a picture of Elliott at the counter getting the official 'welcome to the United States' handshake, but I'm sure this guy would have thrown me in jail for something if I'd have whipped open a camera case at that point,and he offered no effort of congratulations.  After that unpleasant encounter, we went up the escalator to the first floor where we caught a tram across the airport to a whole separate terminal, and found our flight check-in area.  A highly unefficient process, if you ask me.

We had about an hour to wait, so we ate at Quizno's deli counter and let Elliott play in a really neat little kids' area near Terminal #3.

Final flight home!

At this point, all of the joy Elliott has had in participating in public transportation was gone.  He looked up at me like, "you have got to be joking!" when I went to buckle him in to our small jet plane seats.

The flight over Lake Michigan to Grand Rapids was only 45 minutes from lift-off to touch-down, but it seemed like hours.  I was just dying with anticipation to see my daughters.

We finally landed, and ran down the airport to our waiting friends and family in the airport!

Finally united: our family of five!

We came home to a hero's welcome, with dinner and dessert waiting with some beautiful flowers. 

Talk about feeling LOVED!  :o)

Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts, for all of you who have helped us out with our journey.  Whether it was you who cared for our children in our absence, handled the barn chores, filled out adoption paperwork with us, or just took the time to pray for us each day, you have had an immeasurable part in our journey.  Without you, none of this would be possible.

16 months of paperwork

20,000 miles of recent travel

Too much money to count right now

16 days in China

A dozen close friends and family to help us out while we were gone

Three happy kids

Two happy parents

One happy family

One great adventure!