It is hard to believe that Elliott has only been with us for one month, but it's true. It was one month ago today that we visited the Heilongjiang Provincial Civil Affairs office and signed the official documents, stamped also with our fingerprints in red ink, and made our relationship and our promise official. In just four short weeks, he has traveled from his birthplace in the northeast corner of China to the southeast corner of China and the US Embassy to complete his immigration to the United States, traveled over 9,000 miles back home to our farm in Michigan, and captured the hearts of everyone in the family. In just four short weeks he has transformed from a shy, scared little child to a confident, funny, outgoing, silly, charming, and joyful little boy. I'd be lying if I told you that it has been stress-free and without sacrifice, but I can honestly tell you that I would not change a thing about our journey, and that I have fallen in love with this sweet little boy and can't imagine living a day without him. His perserverence and his sweet little personality have served him well in the past few weeks, as he has learned how to cooperate and play with his big sisters, make friends with the bath tub, obey the house rules, and to make friends with the dogs and cats and farm animals here. He has even 'ridden' (sat on) our pony, something I just could not possibly imagine after his initial reaction to large animals at the Guangzhou Zoo! Some things have come very easily, like sitting quietly in his car seat in the JEEP. I think sitting between his big sisters in the back seat had a lot to do with that. Other things, like sleep, have come with significant challenges, but we are definitely making progress. We know so much about him now: his likes and dislikes, his language (which isn't always easy to understand, partly because of his missing teeth), his personality and his tendancies. Looking back to our days in China, when we were still in the 'honeymooning' phase, we were only scratching the surface of getting to know Elliott. He has come a long way in bonding and attachment, and is trusting us much more now. "Goodbyes" aren't always tearful and scary for him, as he knows that Mama and Baba always come back, and I can finally shut the bathroom door without inducing a panic from being out of sight. Granted, we haven't had to fit in a full day of work yet, but I think that in the next two weeks we will get to the point where being apart from us (and in the company of his sister, Charlotte) will be managable. We are thoroughly enjoying this "coocooning" period and think it has done very well for us in the way of setting our family up for success: not just Elliott, but all five of us. I would highly recommend it to any adoptive family going through these same changes. Adopting a child is SO much different than welcoming a biological infant. The stages of development that naturally occur for an infant through a toddler (or older) often get missed or neglected, so things like trust and security need to be revisited and reenforced, often in unusual ways. Without a strong foundation of these attachments, the ensuing years will be much more challenging for everyone. I feel like we have made a lot of progress in a relatively short amount of time by both of us being home, and I am so thankful that we were able to make that a reality for us. It has also helped us to help Charlotte and Madeline with the transition. Madeline has been a big sister for four years now, so adding in another sibling wasn't a huge stretch for her. She's in school, too, so her daily routine was not severely disrupted. Charlotte, on the other hand, has had to give up her spot as the baby in our family, and that was a title she quite enjoyed having. This was not a surprise for us, and we were expecting and ready to handle those challenges. I am happy to report that, although not all of the time, much of the day Charlotte enjoys her little brother. She has the capacity to be so loving and 'maternal', while Maddie tends to be more of a playing companion (although she does have a huge, generous heart and will come to help us out if he is crying). It brings me so much joy to see all of them playing together, and in those sweet moments my Momma heart just swells with a fulfillment and pride.
I can't possibly do a blog post without photos, so I will share a few from our FIRST snow of the year, which came a bit unexpectedly yesterday. The kids could not have been happier to see it falling from the sky, and raced to get on snow gear, although all we ended up with was less than an inch. :o)
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| Little man sporting his new Cookie Monster snow hat. |
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Tasting November snowflakes!
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